*Novanator

They say things get the darkest before dawn...

Naruto must take place in Alaska.

Yes. A nighttime joke. Deal with it.

First off, I just got back from The Dark Knight and I have to say... WOW... This movie completely blew me away. I was sure it was just going to be another case of people hyping up a movie too much, but I could not have been more wrong.

As you all should know, I am not a big DC fan(I'll take Marvel any day). The only DC cartoons I ever liked were Teen Titans, Static Shock, Justice League and Batman Beyond(which I would kill kittens to see a live-action movie of). But this movie just kicked Spidey's ass to the curb. Even my grandmother who hadn't seen Batman Begins(neither had I until last month, for that matter) enjoyed it.

I also honestly thought people were just exaggerating and praising Heath Ledger's performance out of respect for him. I stand corrected. He really was truly outstanding in this movie. I hope he gets an award for it. I really do. Best of all, now I can forget about Brokeback Mountain.

RIP, good sir.


Like with most things in life, where there is good, there must also be shit. And Naruto's here to deliver once again.


If the "preview" at the end of this week's chapter is to be believed, my notice last week may indeed by carried out. Really, if Kishimoto shows this Jinchuuriki fight. he will once and for all labeled himself as a fagtastic Mary-Sue-producing fangirl in man's skin. I will have to quit the manga along with writing these shitty reviews. There are some out there who will be upset with this, others who will be jumping in joy. But the fact is I don't need to make fun of this manga anymore. It's doing that all by itself. And anyone who fails to realize that is a Sasuke-fangirl, a retard(though the two are essentially the same thing), or just in denial.

And Naruto's super-special awesome new training is...! ... A... Hidden-Mist arc-esque... basic... chakra lesson... Hm. Remember that movie Groundhog's Day? Neither do I. But I remember Bill Murray's character killing himself during one scene, so I think that's enough for comparison.

That old frog-teacher thing is freaking me out. He's like a bad cross between Yoda and Guru Pitka only more annoying and useless. "You must become one with nature" Oh yeah. Real original.

Also the 8-Tails host reminds me of Samuel Jackson. I just thought I'd add that.

"Call me Jinchuuriki-sama" ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?!



Tagged by

Remember guys, I do take tags, just not EIGHT FUCKING RANDOM FACTS.

RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, WMP, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.

What’s the meaning of life?
Frou Frou - Holding Out for a Hero

What’s tomorrow’s forecast?
Amuro Namie - Come

What did you dream about last night?
Kool and the Gang - Jungle Boogie

What do you like to do on vacation?
UVERworld - Chance

There’s a message on your answering machine. It says:
L'Arc~en~Ciel - Ready, Steady, Go!

What do you think of school?
Loverboy - Working for the Weekend

What does the last person you talked to think of you?
Natasha Bedingfeild - Pocket Full of Sunshine

What do you do on your days off?
Youhna - Houkiboshi

Describe your hairstyle:
T.M Revolution - Invoke

Describe your lifestyle:
Lifehouse - Whatever It Takes

Your thoughts on aliens are:
The Killers - Somebody Told Me

You won a trip to another country. You feel:
Eminem - Just Lose It

Describe your favorite TV show:
Smash Mouth - Walking on the Sun

Describe your family:
Higurashi no Naku Koro ni - Why, or Why Not?

What you think when you see your enemy:
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

When someone asks for the time you say:
Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong

You’re very happy when:
Asian Kung-Fu Generation - Rewrite

You get upset when:
Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life

What you want to do in the next week:
Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers

Your thoughts on the future:
Cats - Memory

What you want the most:
Flow - Colors

Favorite flavor of ice cream:
Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On

Describe your fav video game:
Spongebob Squarepants - The Best Day Ever

What you do on a sunny day:
Yoko Kanno - Heaven's Not Enough

What you do when u wake up:
Glenn Frey - You Belong to the City

What you thought of lunch today:
Drowning Pool - Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

What you hate in a person:
The Fray - Over My Head

What you like in a person:
Pat Benatar - Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Describe your favorite movie:
Barry Manilow - Sometimes When We Touch

What your wedding will be like:
The Ceasers - Jerk It Out

What your honeymoon will be like:
Anna Tsuchiya - Cocoon

How you will feel about your job:
Ana Johnsson - We Are

Your greatest wish:
Nightmare - The World

Someone handed you a rare vase from the Shang Dynasty. You think:
Satan(South Park) - Christmas Time in Hell

What you think of this quiz:
Puddle of Mudd - Blurry

You will post this as:
Frank Sinatra - Fly Me To the Moon



Well, that didn't make any sense.

Until next time, WHY SO SERIOUS?!

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I told you I'd post one eventually.

Click For Mental Scarring

Now excuse me while I go and punish myself for wasting your time with this fucktarded trash.


...This fall only on FOX after a SUPER SHOCKING THE MOMENT OF TRUTH!

Aaaaand Sasuke's back!

Heheh... Again...

Already...

After only... two chapters...

…Yeah…

*Sigh* …Look, Kishimoto, on behalf of your fans, assuming you have any left, I beseech you, come out of the closet. It’s not healthy. It’s really not. Just be honest with yourself. None of us are gonna think any less of you(as if that were possible). Just come on out. Really it’s okay, you can move to California, get a reality TV show dedicated to finding the best Sasuke-cosplayer in the world, get married to 'em and live happily ever after(or just write yourself into the manga).

And Naruto's going to be training again! Wow! We've never seen that before! What a clever and original plotline! What super-awesome new techniques will he get this time?! The Kamehameha?! Bankai?! Shinigami Eyes?! A Death Scythe?! That kinetic energy thingamijigger Gambit from X-Men does?! GEASS?! Well, in the end it matters not, for even if he defeats Pain with it, surely it will be no match for Sasuke's magical Atom/Star of David/Flower-Sharingan of DEATH.

FYI, seeing team EEEAGLE~ in Akatsuki's cloaks made me physically throw up. They just took the on thing in this manga I thought I would still love no matter what, slit its’ throat, fucked the dead body, and bathed in a pool of it’s blood.

Also, if they show the EEEAGLE~ VS 8-Tails fight on-screen, that’s more than enough proof that Kishimoto is just a Sasuke fangirl fucking with the fans heads, seeing as every Jinchuuriki fight(minus Gaara) occurred off-screen. Now that's just blatant bias.

I would love to go on and talk about everything else that happened in this weeks chapter, but uh… THAT WAS FUCKING IT. Jesus-tap-dancing Christ, Kishi... just because you have a hard-on for team EEEAGLE~ doesn’t mean the fans wanna spend a long week waiting for a new chapter only to be treated to more of your Sasuke-faggotry(the worst kind of faggotry, next to fur]

I have to say, if Sasuke shows up in even one panel next chapter, I think I’m done with this manga. Fuck Tobi's identity, fuck Kishimoto, fuck the entire Naruto fandom.

Finally, since so many people have been asking about it lately. A message in regard to Naruto: OSoOC. As things stand, there will be no new chapters. If you've been following my journals you will know that myself, as well as the fic's co-writers, have become quite fed up with the series, and am having a difficult enough time writing weekly "Rant-Reviews" for it. You think these are bad? You should see how shitty the new chapters would be.

That’s all for this week folks, tune in next week for even more bitching and (if Sasuke sticks around) even more rightful reason for doing so.

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Why the hell haven't I been able to change my mood for the past three weeks? Get on that dA. I'm not psychotic 24/7.

BEST.
COMMENTS.
EVER.

For serial. I don't even care if it was a troll. The lulz this gave me will never be forgotten. TwinEnigma's parody's got nothing on this. NOTHING I SAY! (Do not flame that by the way, minions. It's genius, completely founded and true)

Sorry folks, a bit of a delay on the audio rants. I'm still screwing around with my mic figuring out how it works. But, you can definitely expect an audio one in the next few weeks. And until then, I'll try to post one of my sound test within the week.

I'm honestly shocked that that Shiho chick made a second appearance. Oh well. She'll be tossed out on the street so Sasuke-Sue can move back into the screentime complex soon enough. But seriously, how much you wanna bet Kishimoto makes her and Shikamaru hook up just to fuck with our heads? A regular troll, that guy...

And what we all already knew has been confirmed, the code was indeed tied in to one of Jiraiya's books. Loved the little Katakana lesson, by the way. Real slick way to stretch out the chapter. Careful Kishi, don't bend over much further, lest the world catch glimpse of your lazy ass. All we need is RamenMonster, Mr. Hatake, Elmo's cousin Gitmo, and Count Suigetsu, and we'll have "Sasuke's Street." A half-hour children's entertainment program dedicated to teaching kids how to read, count and learn Japanese. Their first lesson, learn to count backwards from 10 by watching the Akatsuki get killed off one by one.

Was Pain's newest body a woman's or am I seeing things again? Damn that boy's kinky. What Konan must deal with in bed... She's either very lucky or very unfortunate.

I don't even know who's on who's side anymore when it comes to EEEAGLE~ and Akatsuki.
And I don't care to learn.

Forgive me if I seem less/more cynical this week. I'm in a shit mood. First my summer vacation gets delayed, now no Bleach to numb the pain from Naruto's newest shitfest. My only consolation is Code Geass R2. Must... Order... Pizza Hut...!

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First off, thanks to everyone who gave me recommendations for a good microphone. Though I am rather creeped out by the fact that so many people were that eager just to hear my voice... I'm also rather impressed that so many people voted the "Shut up you stupid whore" option on my Theme Song poll. You went and hurt my wittle feelings. I would go kill myself, but then I wouldn't be able to piss everyone off anymore. And no one wants that(except everyone in existence, but who cares about them).

Anyway, I think I picked out a good one, so I'll be testing it out this week as soon as it's delivered. I might post some sort of sound test if I feel it's lulz-worthy. And, assuming if I can figure everything out, we should have audio rants starting soon.

Am I the only one who wants to see more Kurenai? I wanna see her in mood-swing mode. I can't stop picturing her crying while watching Disney movies then demanding Team 8 to bring her KFC or she'll cut out their reproductive organs. That'd be some awesome shit. But this is Naruto we're talking about, so of course that can't happen. Nothing awesome can.

As much as I love Shikamaru, he needs to go away now. He already had an entire story arc devoted to him, enough is enough. I only say this because I don't want him to end up a screentime whore like Sasuke.

You'll notice that I'm saying nothing else about the chapter. No, I am not being lazy and leaving out stuff. That really is all the happened. I thought the whole point of the original manga was no filler? I'd rather sit through The Curry of Life bullshit at this point(not really)...

Anyhoo, in closing, another boring angst ridden chapter. But it is once again considered an improvement due to lack of EEEAGLE~.

Remember, shit on a shit seems more interesting then just plain shit.

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And here we have our angst-ridden chapter filled with crying and flashbacks. Did I call it, or did I call it? Don‘t credit me on calling that one though. After all, a semi-retarded monkey could predict the plot at this point.

But, it could be worse. It could've been another chapter about the Uchiha. Boring yes, but a necessary evil to advance the plot and move away from Sasuke and EEEAGLE~(I said I'd keep doing that and I'm sticking to it). I do wish they would've had more flashbacks from Tsunade's POV. Seriously Kishi, you killed JiraiTsu’s chances of every happening, so you couldn't at least show us more of their old interactions? Shame on you.

Am I the only one who’s getting fed up with this “destined child” shit? It’s cliché, it’s unoriginal, and who it is has already been narrowed down to three people. It’s undoubtedly either Naruto or Sasuke. Possibly Pain if you wanna go with the “The Happening” method of predicting. But most likely Sasuke, all things considered. Seeing Kishimoto would think it‘d surprise everyone. When really, all it would surprise is the Sasuke-fantards, while all sensible people look on unimpressed.

And what's the deal with Naruto NOT wanting ramen?! *Insert Seinfeld reference*

….Okay. I’m out of jokes… Thanks a lot Kishimoto! *Sniffle* …It’s not even fun to make fun of anymore…

Finally off-topic, does anyone know what would be the best kind of microphone for doing voice-overs? I'm finally getting one next week and could really use a recommendation. Price-range is no factor. And yes. That means I'll be doing videos soon. You know these weekly chapter reviews and how unfunny they are? Think of how unfunny they'll be when I'm saying them instead of typing them!

Lata y'all.
...Is y'all a redneck word, or a ghetto word? I can never figure that shit out...

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